#the other one will return eventually
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Whumptober 2024 Masterlist
Here's the list of fics so far this year, I'll try and keep this updated as I go! And as always, you can read all of these on ao3.
Day 1 - (Race against the clock, panic attack) feat. Wild & Twilight
Day 2 - (Role reversal) feat. Wind & Legend
Day 3 - ((bloody) fingerprints) feat. Warriors & Time
Day 4 - (Hallucinations, āYouāre still alive in my headā) feat. Wild, Sky, Twilight and Warriors
Day 5 - (Sunburn, heatstroke) feat. Four & Hyrule
Day 6 - (Healed wrong, āitās not my bloodā) feat. Legend
Day 7 - (Only for emergencies, magic with a cost) feat. Time & Legend
Day 8 - (sleep deprivation, forced to stay awake) feat. Sky & Warriors
Day 9 - (Broken window) feat. Wind & others
Day 10 - (Passing out from pain) feat. Hyrule
Day 11 - (Seeing double) feat. Wild & ...Wild
Day 12 - ("Just a little more", (starvation)) feat. Warriors and Sky continuation of day 8
Day 13 - (Multiple whumpees (familial curse)) feat. Twilight & everyone
Day 14 - (Shivering (left for dead)) feat Hyrule & Wild
Day 15 - (Moment of clarity (childhood trauma)) - feat. Wind & Four
Day 16 - (Swamp, "No, I can't feel anything") feat. Hyrule & Time (+ others)
Day 17 - (Venom, āwe had a good runā) feat. Sky, Twilight, & Warriors
Day 18 - (Revenge) feat. Legend & everyone continuation of day 10
Day 19 - (Blood trail, abandoned cabin) feat. Four, Wild, & the Colors
Day 20 - (Emotional angst, Shoulder to Cry On, Giving Permission to Die, āItās not your fault.ā) feat. Time, Malon, & Epona
Day 21 - (Spirit possession) feat. Wind & Sky
Day 22 - (Bleeding through bandages, "oh that's not good") feat. Time & Twilight
Day 23 - (Forced choice, secrets revealed, (public display)) feat. Warriors & Legend
Day 24 - (Equipment failure) feat. Four & the colors (Vio)
Day 25 - (Surgery) feat. Wild & Time
Day 26 - (Nightmare, regret) feat. Legend & Hyrule (everyone) continuation of days 10 and 18
Day 27 - (Voiceless, "I have no mouth and I must scream") feat. Wind + others
Day 28 (No-holds-barred beatdown, exposure, used as bait) feat. Twilight & everyone continuation of day 13
Day 29 (Fatigue, āWho said you could rest?ā) feat. Warriors & Legend continuation of day 23
...
#linkeduniverse#linked universe#whumptober#whumptober 2024#whump#ao3 link#masterlist#writing from the floor#ta da#and no I'm not doing this because I'm stuck on today's fic whaaaaat don't be ridiculous#also I'm making this the temporary pinned post for October#the other one will return eventually#unless i forget
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shuichi posting
#my art#fanart#strawberridraws#danganronpa#drv3#shuichi saihara#character design#don't ask me what possessed me to make this#(its the game grumps play through. the demons have officially returned)#all my aus and head canons bouncing around at maximum velocity rn..#technically this is part of my āthe tragedy was realā au / towa kids au#but shuichi (in that au) was kinda just like#what he is on the tin#aka a nice dude taken under his uncles wing post parent death (tragedy) (they were on vacation and got caught up in one of the worst areas)#in my au its like. imagine a weather map with hotspots; that's how the tragedy worked#so shuichi lived in a less effected area but with the rise of infected people (like zombie apocalypse style) (and animorphs brain worm styl#as you cannot tell who is effected by despair and to what extent unless they choose to reveal themselves)#there was a hugeee uptick in crime and shit so he started working with his uncle early on#eventually his uncle went missing (I think its not super hammered out) and he went to investigate#which is when he runs into his like Gang of pregame ppl#(Kaito maki Kaede)#and later some others (towa kid gang [kokichi gang but with drv3 kids] island gang [angie kork n amami])#ANYWAYS its a thing...#ik its been like 3 years since I first posted about it but u can't control the brain worms ig#and I just wanted to do a redesign lmao
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grumbo week 2024 ā #1 - souls
mumbo stole grian's soul in season 8, making them soul linked. except, what if grian was an avian and mumbo was a vampire, and the traits started manifesting both ways...?
-- prompts by @grumboweek
#ange draws#i had fun with this one#needed vampire grian#that's where this whole thought came from#mumbo gets baby wings#one of them gets bloodthirst#the other gets growing pains#wonderful#mumbo teaches grian how to safely drink blood#and grian preens him in return#and eventually teaches him how to use his new wings to fly#so many good moments can come from this concept#anyway#grumbo#hermitshipping#grumboweek#dayoneprompt
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Massive 4.2 Genshin Impact archon quest spoilers concerning Furina and her identity ahoy, but I kind of like the idea that like. After everything is said and done, when Neuvilette goes to Furina to tell her everything he saw, at the end of it he holds out his cupped hands and water condenses in them into a bubble.
Neuvilette tells her this was a gift, from Focalors. She had wanted to apologize. She knows she asked Furina to do something horrible. She knows she put her through the worst levels of hell and never even got to personally thank her after it all. With her execution, Furina's curse is broken, but she was forced to play a role for 500 years. 500 years. And that's. Something that is going to take a very very long time to unravel and work through. Years, at least.
So now, Focalors wanted to make her an offer. Longevity, not as a curse this time, but a blessing. Furina will not be immortal. But she will be able to take back the 500 years she lost and then some. She'll have plenty of time to rest, and then to heal, and then to do whatever she'd like. She can wander all of Teyvat by foot if that's what she wants, she'll have the time. She can go see every stage opera ever made. She can leave Fontaine for a generation or two or three and come back when she can start anew, when none of the humans will personally remember her.
She will have time to figure out who she is and what she wants to do. She can finally unearth all the things she buried over the last five centuries.
It's her choice, though. Neuvilette supports her either way. They find a pretty little bottle to put the water bubble in together, because Furina doesn't want to drink it just yet, she wants to think about it first. She's still going to leave for a while. Neuvilette supports that, too. But she takes the bottle with her, carefully wrapped up in cloth, and that's enough for him, just to know that she has the freedom of choice in her own life for perhaps the first time ever.
#neuvifuri#genshin impact neuvillette#genshin impact furina#genshin neuvillette#genshin furina#I'm normally not one to ahy away from major character death. like. at ALL.#shit dude that's my bread and butter right there#but for some reason it's just not cathartic for me with Furina like it is with other characters#it's just!!#after suffering for **500 YEARS** the 60-80 she would have left as a human doesn't feel like enough#it doesn't feel fair#she should get to have more time than that to be happy and have fun#she saved an entire nation! she's earned it!!#rest via either death or longevity; both are extremely good and valid. this is just my personal preference#genshin impact#genshin 4.2#genshin impact 4.2#Neuvilette#furina#(and I would like to think that Furina does go on a journey- but she returns to Fontaine eventually)#(and it's maybe not when she first comes back. it's maybe not for a long time.)#(but there is a day when Furina goes to Neuvilette and tells him she has something to give him. something important.)#(and she hands him an empty bottle)
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More about Meat Marionette Au
Ā Thinkin of lil Robin and all of them being very fluffy with like, almost down mixed with fur and softer larvae-like chitin. Way softer than Bruceās chitin that can take some ridiculously solid hits before cracking. Bruce gets so stressed when Dick gets his secondary body because like?? Small child with?? Large blade?? On the end of a tail?? And long claws??? This kid is like, nine at most and has very sharp blades now that canāt be taken away. Heās so very stressed.Ā
Ā I like to think the robins all vary in size by like a few inches but theyāre all child-sized just so they can sneak around easily and hide in the Batās back. Plus then Bruce can pluck them up whenever they decide to try and sneak out or attack someone lol
This is a combo of my cryptid batfam au & @phoenixcatch7's Possessed Doll au, which is amazing and you need to check it out if you aren't aware of it <3
#meat marionette au#batman au#one of my favorite details is that the robins all have lil openings in their teeth where their tusks can eventually grow in#Dick: Look I have a second body like you now :D#Bruce: *stress levels rising*#Gotham's rumors *explode* when Robin joins Batman in his new body#Like before there was a chance of it being a suit (which it was)#that people debated about but now it's distinctly Not#Some people think the baby grew some & isn't mimicking humans as closely while others claim it's a whole different entity#I am almost tempted for Dick to be the one to grab Jason instead of Bruce (seeing as no batmobile for them to use lol)#I just think it'd be hilarious for Bruce to return from patrol all worried because it was Dick's first semi-solo one#only for Dick to have brought back another child gushing about how the kid hit his legs w/ a tire iron#Keep in mind they're both still in their second bodies during this & then there's completely human Alfred there with cookies too lol#possessed doll au#what's out there au#it's a combo between the two and I am giggling evilly
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I canāt even lie over time this pathetic little elf has grown on me and now I really like her as a character. sheās SUCH a loser. and someone said that she shouldāve been recruitable instead of Halsin after uncovering the Shadow Druid plot and she couldāve had a redemption arc and now I canāt stop thinking about that alternate reality
#i have no idea if itās a controversial opinion to like Kagha or not but#like imagine if she was sent away from the Grove. not banished but temporarily sent away to think about her actions#Halsin says she can return to the circle after sheās rediscovered the oak fatherās teachings etc etc#so she can join up with you in act 1 and you get a druid then and not 2 in act 2 randomly#maybe she travels with you to find redemption. you were the one who pulled her from the brink so she thinks travelling with you#will help her do some good in this world#she can have a tense reunion with the tieflings in act 2 and she apologises. some forgive her. others donāt as is their right#and she tries so hard to redeem herself but she learns that sometimes people are still hurt by your deeds and they might not forgive you#I think itās talking to Arabella that actually gives her growth#maybe itās Kagha whoās involved in Arabellaās powers and her learning to tame them. Arabella who has reason of all to hate her#and it takes a while and some conversation and working together but I think Arabella forgives Kagha#she doesnāt have to and Kagha never expected forgiveness from her but she DOES and thatās what gets Kagha the most#she has a big introspective act 2 moment in the middle of the Shadow Curse#regardless she is first to suggest rescuing the tieflings from moonrise. not because she wants forgiveness but because itās right#(to show her character growth and learning to care about the refugees)#and then her quest could tie into the Shadow Curse. she wants to do better and help people#and eventually the other tieflings start to come round to her. once sheās proved sheās actively bettering herself#the kids find her funny and Mattis definitely thinks sheās a loser and not scary or mean#like okay lady sure I forgive you whatever stop crying now#Mirkon is just a little sweetie so he forgives her as long as Arabella does and then he follows her around asking loads of questions#anyway sorry those are my thoughts I think itād be great to have a redemption arc companion in act 1#bc Minthara is so missable if you donāt know to knock her out you just kill her#Kaghaās story would help indicate that there are hidden companions you can look out for#most of this is nonsense im so sleepy but will I stop rambling? no#also Minthara should top the hell out of this pathetic surface elf right now
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"Remember...we need to keep this completely professional and strictly discreet"
He declares firmly as he readjust the gizmo on his right hand, digitalizing his suit onto his glistening, perfect body. Watching the freshly embroidered markings that you engraved onto his beautiful, broaden back, fade from your lingering sight. Shifting up on your bed as you gently pull the crinkled sheets up to your bare, heaving chest. Slowly, watching his head tilt to the side to capture your longing stare.
"Nothing more then this will happen between us...I just want you to know that" he clarifies with a heavy sigh, fixing his posture as he opens up a portal in the midst of your dim lit room. Taking a final, shorten glimpse back at you, noting the distraught, broken look settling upon your face, before vanishing within the glowing inter dimensional circle.
"...Yeah, nothing..."
#I'm a TOTAL sucker for 'friends with benefits' trope where one character develops strong inevitable feelings for the other while#the other clearly wants nothing more then just the hot steamy hookup......to simply 'distress' them or 'clear their minds'#but EVENTUALLY leads to said character to developing the same feelings in return! these are/will always my fave tropes! <33#yes yes this was about mean prudent Miguel :(#don't worry...he TOTALLY wants you trust me#miguel o'hara x reader#spiderverse
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i feel like i donāt show enough appreciation to all the people who support me (and maybe i whine too much about the things that upset me), so i just want everyone to know that i adore you and i read the tags and the comments, and i really do appreciate every single nice thing anyone has ever said to me. iām just so overwhelmed and it started getting to me!! iām having a nice break though, iām working on some zine stuff that iām very proud of and cooking up some other ideas along the way and will be back to posting art soon š
#especially after the reel i made for my ice skating AU blew up#that was really really intense and scared the hell out of me#on one hand iām glad people like it so much but on the other the attention it garnered was exhausting#but i will return with it eventually!#i just need to keep it to myself for a bit
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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Immersive gaming experiences my beloved
#risk of rain#risk of rain returns#one thing RoRR and to a degree RoR have that RoR2 doesnt is pain#You can really see when something gets hurt#this was drawn in the middle of my first RoRR run along with several other pages#i paused the game whenever i felt i needed to preserve something#this and the mushroom level made me feel strongly#ill colour the rest and share them here eventually#for now theyre buried on the discord
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shoutout to that one mtdd confession comic i drew last year that i never posted because uhh
it was unscripted so the ideas were pretty disjointed and it showed a lot. anyway:
#i rewrote it but im honestly still trying to figure out whatās missing#this isnāt the whole thing but the other panels kind of add nothing to the idea anyway so uhh#i redrew so much and just couldnāt be satisfied and then. well. 10 months went by#maybe iāll return to the second oneā¦eventuallyā¦#kirbyposting#my art or something#meta knight#king dedede#metadede#quinn does comics#yeah im just clearing out old wips what of it?#yknow the two cakes thing#this might be more of a cupcake lol#or i guess itās literally half baked#but thatās okay#the point a to point b was really awkward so i am literally skipping the middle#i try to keep some level of consistency in how i write these characters (emphasis on try)#so this isnāt canon to my little made up universe#a scene like this is important of course!! which is why i want to do it justiceā¦ish. and so i donāt hate this but itās not a good fit#if that makes sense
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I need to shout about Distraction for a minute, so bear with me.
First off, ouch. Big fucking ouch. That thing has been licking the wound it helped create ever since it came out.
Second of all, the repetition of "it's too late for me" always being the background noise to an otherwise quite quiet song, other than the breakdown, is absolutely diabolical. The breakdown feels like a panic attack. A complete and utter mental breakdown finished with a scream-sob of something that has permeated the whole song; it's too late for me. It's always been too late, even with the help of Her, She who is not like any other and is far more than one could ask for, it's too late.
It's always been too late. She found him in the cold waters, on the verge of drowning in self hatred and tried to pull him up, but he didn't want to get Her hand damp. He is not worthy of it all and he screams for the final time for Her to let go because it's too late.
And then everything stops. We are back to the beginning; the quiet, repeatative beat of an anxious heart.
What makes it worse? Distraction is a loop. Starts on the same chord and ends on the exact same one with the same beat. She comes back again and again but it's still too late.
Distraction is a loop of self hatred laced with the inner turmoil of a Thing that doesn't believe it can ever get better because it fears the help of others. It believes it's not worthy of touch, and so rots in falling further again as it warps into something it never wanted to be; broken into fractions and driven to distraction.
#this one hurts me#I say a lot of their songs hurts me but this one cuts deep to a personal level#I've spoken about this maybe once or twice before but I suffer from chronic insomnia#so I've spent years trying to fix myself and being afraid of the help of others because I physically cannot be myself anymore#I'm riddled with self hatred tiredness and wounds that at this point I myself am stopping from healing#I've always belived it's too late for me- that I'm past the point of no return- and that I'll eventually die from this#so it was quite euphoric to hear someone scream the exact feelings I've been experiencing for my whole life#apologies for the vent#sleep token#st#distraction#distraction sleep token#this place will become your tomb#tpwbyt#mel's rambles
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Im surprised that you haven't drawn anything laughingstock related based off of the new content lmao-
my guy! patience! i draw & create slowly, and i am still Absorbing and Resting!
#that and my brain's still a lil fucky from two migraines in one week - i am Trying to avoid a third!#spirits are high but the energy is low and some days i simply cannot scribble very much#i will get there when i get there!#rambles from the bog#and honestly i'd rather respond to some scribble-prompting asks first#the box is getting quite full#im nearly at 60!#im determined to stay somewhat on top of it with this blog!#as a sort of backwards apology to my other one... 630 asks strong.... eugh....#do i feel terrible about it? yes. yes i do#someday i may return...#welcome home may relax its death grip on my soul.... eventually....
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From the depths of the studio - where darkness prevails and the voices of the puddles grow louder - a message is echoed to the rest of the world. A promise filled with hatred and,at the same time,with conviction. Words coming from someone who was more than confident that their blasphemy would come true.
A message that is directed to one creature,and one creature only...
"I will become the very being You never could be"
----- "A Promise Sent from Below" - Return to the Studio AU.
Oh hey, I have an AU, I forgot about that (lie)
I've had a similar idea in my head for a month now. It wasn't possible to do it last month, but no problem. May would make more sense. I did something with this little guy for 414 last year, and I wanted to do something with him again. April 14th of this year would not be possible, but May 14th or 15th? Oh yes. These dates are better because it was between these two (actually it was the 14th I think, but I consider both dates) days that I created this guy above! Consider this drawing a celebration made forā¦well, me. Of course, he wasn't created with the design above in mind. His original, main design is quite different from this alternative (and less original) iteration. The drawing above shows his current situation in the "current" moments of the RTTS AU.
His creation, which dates back to 2020, was the result of some Bendy-related thoughts of mine intersecting on the day. These being about new things in canon lore that came out at the time (plus speculation about this new information), a theory that at the time I started to understand better (which maybe based on the drawing, you probably know which theory I'm talking about ) and a funny bug found in one of the games (do you remember Ghost Bendy by any chance?) And then,boom. I created Atlas. I remember at the time I was thinking of other names for him because Atlas was just a codename that I had in mind to refer to him while I thought of a definitive name for the guy. But the codename ended up sticking. Plus, Atlas is a cool name and I wanted to give an OC that name.
Even though some details changed over time, I think I eventually managed to solidify his place in the AU. Not that his story is 100% thought out and completed. Hell, my AUs that I have are still not 100% thought out either, so what to expect from their characters. But I think that, currently, I have at least decided on the general idea of his place and purpose in RTTS, and I am happy with what I have come up with.
I don't know when the next time will be that I will show him again. In general, showing things from my AUs is not and probably will never be my strong point lol. But I'd like to draw him again eventually. So uhhhhhhhhhhh, one day. When that "one day" will be, it's up to you to decide
Happy Birthday Atlas. You and your other 2 alternative versions are cool to think about. Here's to another 4 years of chaos for you. š
I can't believe it's been 4 years now, damn.
#bendy and the ink machine#batim#bendy and the dark revival#batdr#return to the studio au#bendy au#bendy oc#crookedsmileart#I found new a way to indicate which specific drawing refers to an AU or not#also writing that...thing at the beginning (drabble????) took a bit out of me#writing things like short story descriptions is so difficult; imagine writing a real fic#How can you all do this; seriously.#fanfiction writers are the real badasses;fr fr#about the āother 2 alternative versionsā of Atlas; there are 3 versions of him that I have#the first is the one above; from the Return to the Studio AU. His main incarnation; I would say#Then there's his version in the Toon City Adventures AU; which varies a little from the RTTS version.#There are things in this version of him that I still need to rewrite#and then there's his non-Bendy version;#where I remove all the Bendy connections; and he is practically an original character with no connections to existing material#and play with him in some original stories that I put together in the back of my mind#I admit that this version is what I end up going back to a little more in recent times#But in the end I like all 3 equally#since last year's 414 art; I changed a few little things in his design; but still keeping the general idea in place#I'll eventually have to create a reference sheet for him;i guess#rtts au
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saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad
#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries#it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc#ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop#like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions#cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt#you know how it goes#vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own#students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country#until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem#this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL#our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries!#but the mental image is a bit funny#vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa#i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med#expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc#anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history#i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3)#as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me)#lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc#theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly#being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her#lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao#years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth#cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination....#I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN šššššš#i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess#but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh.#skl.txt
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okay as a Jean Enjoyer i feel like i need to say this because there are different genres of jean enjoyment (jeanres if you will). i am of the faction where i donāt really vibe with the whole ājeangstā thing (as it exists as a fandom phenomenon) and hereās why. so much of the stuff i see labeledĀ ājeangstā is WAY too sympathetic to and forgiving of jean for my taste. like heās woobified or thereās a lot of uncriticalĀ āpoor jean harry is so mean to him and now harryās amnesia ruined his life :(ā type stuff which is such a fundamental misunderstanding of him and his role in harryās past & present and it skews how we view his dynamic with harry too. and i donāt mean this asĀ āoh considering jeanās pov is bad!!1!1ā³ no i consider his pov all the time i am indescribably mentally ill about the torment that the jeanharry relationship puts both jean and harry through. but when we consider his point of view i really think that just ascribing him the simple role ofĀ āpoor depressed punching bagā strips him of all the interesting parts of his character & also contributes to a less nuanced and accurate understanding of harry as well (it makes it easy to villainize him for his addiction and mental illness, which in and of themselves arenāt moral failings-- harry was a bad person for his behavior, which is not the same as his addiction or his illnesses)
like, jean put himself in this situation. over and over again. yes he was likely forced into working with harry, but whateverās going on between them is more than a workplace conflict. you look at luigaās twitter and heās said so much about jean and harryās codependency and the other mentions of a very close and very unhealthy personal relationship. you see the way jean talks about his own role vs harryās in the ending-- jean WANTS to be the poor victim, he wants everyone to see him as the helpless punching bag who is being such a saint by Putting Up With Harry And His Bullshit, look at me, iām so much better than this stupid mentally ill addict! heās like harry you are so unprofessional, and there is something wrong with you, and we are all so tired of putting up with you and your shitty behavior, but here he is sitting in a hotel lobby in a wig to harass harry while harry is actually doing his job!! like jean my love here you are reaming harry out aboutĀ ādoing his fucking jobā sir what are you doing!! you are sitting in a hotel looking angry for 14 hours just in case your special little partner who you are definitely sooo mad at condescends to speak to you for a few minutes!! and you dragged poor judit out here too!! jean. girl. babe. itās time to admit you are a massive hypocrite with an even bigger victim complex. you, a mentally ill addict, are losing your shit at harry for being a mentally ill addict. why donāt you meaningfully address the actual behaviors instead of just reminding harry that heās an alcoholic every 2 minutes.
like iām not saying jean should have infinite patience for harry after multiple years of mistreatment but damn dude the double standards are insane. jean is instigating a messy public breakup and being pretty abusive the whole time and then heās like everyone feel bad for ME and not STUPID HARRY who is an ALCOHOLIC in case anyone forgot. he goes on and on about how much his life sucks and how much harry sucks and boohoo poor him heās so depressed and beaten down by the shitkid etc but then in ANY sub-ideal ending you get thereās still something that tells you that heās still taking harry back or at least considering it. in the cuno endingĀ āhe canāt leave you behind. he just canāt. one final time...ā even in the worst endingĀ āif you make it-- if youāre sober for 10 months-- tell us. iāll work with you again.ā jean babe if you hate him so much then stay the fuck away from him!! damn!! your codependency is showing!! your victim complex is showing!! just go get harryās name tattooed on you at this point like at the very least it might get you some sympathy from people at the bar when they ask about whatās very clearly an Exās Name Tattoo
#this got out of hand. sorry#anyway yeah i disagree with 'jeangst' on principle because it's too nice to jean basically#you can be sympathetic to his point of view without being a Jean Apologist or completely erasing his role in a mutually abusive dynamic#i love to think about how much this whole situation hurts him. and i love to think about how a lot of it is his fault#it's so much more interesting for him to be a participant in his own victimhood#he's standing there goading harry into punching him and then he gets punched and is like HOW DARE YOU PUNCH ME!!#well sir you see if you tape a sign on your forehead that says kick me then eventually you are going to be kicked.#the jeanharry relationship as a form of self harm for both parties involved etc etc#using each other to punish themselves etc etc#just enough good in it to keep them going. just enough bad to make it bitter the whole way through. the push and pull of addiction etc etc#see a return to jean/harry partnership after martinaise would be so funny#jean tries to provoke harry says some shitty stuff etc and harry just like. starts crying or having a panic attack or whatever#and jean is like hold on this makes ME look like the bad guy. come on quick hit me. come on say something mean. call me a slur. please#or maybe harry goes right back to being an asshole depending on ur guy. and nothing ever changes and they hurt each other for ever and ever#until they succumb to the inevitable murder-suicide#kiwipost#jv meta#jean vicquemare#I HATE THIS GUY *beating him with one of those carpet dust racket things*
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